I wish things could be different

For different reasons, normally, fathers do not get much time with their sons, eventually a distance brews between father-son. Yet, there are so many ways a father can be the hero of his son’s life, can be the source of inspiration. Riasat Raihan writes about ideal father-son chemistry.
I wish things could be different

Who is the most important person in a boy’s life? His mother perhaps, yes you are right. But do you know that there are some specific things that a father can do better than a mother in the upbringing of a boy? Today, I am going to talk about a father that I never had. Although, I love and respect my father for his immense contribution in my life, there are some things that I wish he had never done and things that he should have done instead. Based on my experience, I am going to state some father-son things which are very important, especially for an excessively emotional and sensitive boy like me. So let’s start, shall we? Advance apologies, if I have made any offense towards anyone.
Apart from friends, who is the best companion for a boy in various competitions and games?  His father, of course! This is a very important step in becoming a man. Through these games, the boy will feel the taste of victory and realise how much effort it takes to reach it. And for the father, it’s an act of responsibility and satisfaction to teach his son that failures will come and go. It’s an opportunity for the father to tell his son that no matter what, no matter how many times you fall, he’ll be there for you. Failure is no shame in your life. It is just part of training for you to achieve the ultimate success. The father will fall with you so that he can show you how to rise up and fight again. Trust me, this is the best lesson a son can have from his father.

Taken from the movie Pursuit of Happiness

Taken from the movie Pursuit of Happiness

I love my mother. That’s why I have so much respect towards any woman in this world. Who could possibly teach a boy better to behave well with respect towards women? Of course your mother! But there is no better example than your father’s attitude towards your mother. Not from anyone, not from the internet, it’s the father who can teach his son all about respecting women. Just take your son out and buy him his mother’s favourite things so that he can understand how important it is to treat a woman with respect.
Like every other boy, I have also fell in love in my teens. Like every ‘typical’ stereotypical middle class boy, I never talked to my father about the girl I loved. No matter how much I wanted to share my feelings, there was something in his behaviour which pushed me far from him. That’s why a father should create that comfort zone between him and his son by telling about his first love or date. For a teenager, it’ll be a valuable gift, if his father tells him about his first love and first dates and that he shouldn’t hurry because it’s better to wait for the right girl who will create a spark in his soul. Such conversations will be extremely useful for mutual trust, exemplary too.
You may or may not get bullied or beaten up by others in your school or any other places. If you get bullied you might want to give it back to the people who did wrong to you.  For this type of situations, your father comes in and he can teach you to stand up and stick to the right path.  He can teach you to detect when it is time to fight back so that the offender learns a lesson and when it is more reasonable not to pay attention to provocations and calmly leave. He should explain to his son and show by his example that kindness is not a weakness.
A boy just needs to know that not only his mom is on his side but his father is there also. A father does not have to be anything special. Just be with your son time to time and if anything is bothering him, just talk to him. As a result, you can boost your son’s confidence. With your approach he will start to believe that you are his greatest powerhouse which is very important. Of course, when it comes to upbringing, parents should be on the same side. But in terms of views of the world, their philosophy can be very different. But with father’s help, the child will be able to understand the difference of things so that he can judge what is good or bad for him. This process does not start in teenage years; I believe it starts from the very first day of birth. From that time you can even differentiate between female and male manifestations of love. So, when your son is just a baby, toss him or spin him, show your affection. His mother might have a heart attack by seeing this but your son will enjoy that to the fullest.
From his playgroup classes to college, he finds a lion share of his teachers is female. So you can see that apart from his mother he lacks male mentors. From this we can see how important a father’s role in a boy’s life is. You can initiate a bonding with your son by teaching him the simplest of tricks like how to tie shoes strings or ties. Make him believe that you are the one of the greatest source from where he can learn how to be cool all the time.


The things I have stated above will add unlimited features to your son’s overall character. It will make your son the ultimate winner in life. Once your son starts to believe all these things, he will then pass it to his son. I know parents say that their children’s happiness is their happiness too, which I agree with. But first get to know what makes them happy. Money, toys, gaming consoles or fancy gifts or luxury life style, these things do not bring the purest of happiness, trust me on this. It is your willingness to listen to and share their feelings and thoughts which makes them happy. Not only it makes them happy, it becomes their life lesson for a good and bright future.
Think about that before you tell your son that he could not make you feel proud in his life before it is too late.


Riasat Raihan is a member of New age Youth team.

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